Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Confessions of a Junk Food Junkie
I bought a movie-sized box of Sugar Babies at the grocery store. Out of habit, I shook the box. Hmm. It didn't rattle. I was thinking "Bonus!" It must be filled so full it won't rattle. After I got home and anxiously opened the box, my heart sank. The Sugar Babies had melted into one huge glob and were stuck in the bottom of the box. It takes more than that to discourage a junk food junkie. It's taken me three days, but I've managed to eat most of them by digging them out with a knife. Next time I buy Sugar Babies, I'll know that if the box doesn't rattle, buy Milk Duds instead.
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Q: Can anyone tell me the difference between K2 and IQ? A: Nthn. In Seventh-Heaven, we'll gitt'm both HawrHawr Need summore thots, ideers, wurdz or ironclad iconoclasms? Look no firdr...
ReplyDeleteVERBUM SAT SAPIENTI: As an ex-writer of the sassy, savvy, schizophenia we all go through in this lifelong demise, I just wanna help U.S. git past the whorizontal more!ass! we're in (Latin: words to [the] wise)...
"This finite existence is only a test, son," God Almighty told me in my coma. "Far beyond thy earthly tempest is where you'll find corpulent eloquence" (paraphrased). Lemme tella youse without d'New Joisey accent...
I actually saw Seventh-Heaven when we died: you couldn't GET any moe curly, party-hardy-endorphins, extravagantly-surplus-lush Upstairs when my beautifull, brilliant, bombastic girl passed-away due to those wry, sardonic satires.
"Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the Heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightousness as bright as stars for all eternity" -Daniel 12:3
Here's also what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' -the Infant Jesus of Prague.
Go git'm, girl. You're incredible. See you Upstairs. I myself won't be joining'm in the nasty Abyss where Isis prowls
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-YOUTHwitheTRUTH
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PS Need summore unique, uncivilized, useless names? Lemme gonna gitcha started, brudda:
Oak Woods, Franky Sparks, Athena Noble, Autumn Rose, Faith Bishop, Dolly Martin, Willow Rhodes, Cocoa Major, Roman Stone, Bullwark Burnhart, Magnus Wilde, Kardiak Arrest, Will Wright, Goldy Silvers, Penelope Summers, Sophie Sharp, Violet Snow, Lizzy Roach, BoxxaRoxx, Aunty Dotey, Romero Stark, Zacharia Neptoon, Mercurio Morrissey, Fritz & Felix Franz, Victor Payne, Isabella Silverstein, Mercedes Kennedy, Redding Rust, Martini Phoenix, Ivy Squire, Sauer Wolf, Yankee Cooky, -blessed b9...
God blessa youse
-Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL