Friday, June 8, 2012

It's Summer in Oklahoma!

Anyone who knows me can answer this. What is the worst thing about living in Oklahoma? No, not the dry, hot summer.  Not the tornadoes. Not the winter ice storms. It's scorpions!

What brought me to this rant today? Long story...yesterday I got up to start my daily routine. I had left my shoes (inside) by the back door. I picked them up and watched the cat go over to inspect something. It was overcast outside and I didn't have the lights turned on, so it was a little dark. "What is it, Zoey?" and then I flip on the light. Hmmm! I can't tell. It sort of looks like a mole cricket. Nice thick body, but where are the legs?  A light bulb went off in my head as I remembered my new handy, dandy spider/scorpion spray I bought just 2 days ago. I run out to the garage to get the spray, still packed in the bag from Home Depot. The can says "kills on contact". I am glad the spray works from a distance. I push the trigger and hold and hold and hold until there is a huge puddle of spray on my floor and then the creature decides to straighten out. Oh my goodness! It is a scorpion! How dare that nasty thing come into my house! He evidently had been dazed from the spray that had been used outside, but dazed is not good enough. He had to die. He managed to get up his strength and rolled over and I let him have it again. That will do it! Why not just use the fly swat or a shoe? That requires too much contact and a chance of it getting me instead of me getting it!

I have really changed in my 10 years in Oklahoma. If this had happened 10 years ago, I probably would have run down the street screaming my lungs out. I'm so much better than that now. I can actually look at the scorpion and only shiver. I can't, however, manage to move the darn thing. I thought about the vacuum cleaner, but what if it's not really dead and it comes back out? The only resort is to leave it until Tony comes home and let him remove the little demon. And so the torture continues for several hours as I have to keep going to look and make sure it didn't move. Finally, Tony came home and got rid of it and I spent a few hours engaged in chemical warfare in the Lawson home! There should be no more this year...I can only pray!

And today is a brand new day! I am on the phone with Emily in a very intense discussion about our first digital camera. "I still have it," I tell her and I go to the guest room in the "camera basket" and pull it out. We talk about it, I hang up the phone and go to put it back in its designated old camera place and as I bend over, I pull back the long curtains. There is is! No question this time about what kind of creepy crawler is in my house! Is it alive or dead? I can't tell and you know they tend to play that game. It must be a brother to the one yesterday. Exactly the same size!  Two in two days? Now what am I going to do?  Ahh! The vacuum cleaner is pretty close and this time, I'm going to use it. Thank God it has a very long extension hose.  I extend it as far as it will go, hit the power button, ease back the curtain and let out a screech! It's gone! Beads of sweat pop out on my forehead and my heart starts to race. I feel a little faint. What just happened here? I inch back the curtain and boy, do I feel silly? It's still there and it has not moved. I rush to suck it up and hear the "clink" as it goes up the hose. I let the vacuum cleaner run a little while just to make sure it's really inside and then for good measure, I vacuum the rest of the house. A little dog hair and dirt on top might ensure it won't come out. I know deep down, it was already dead. Why does my mind continue to play these stupid games?

As I try to relax, I make one last phone call. It's to Tony, "Will you please stop by Wal Mart on your way home? I need a bottle of Ortho Bug B Gone in the red container. Last night, I used it all on the back of the house. I need to do the front now." And so, I know my plans for this evening!

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